By Lorna Larson
PROMPT — Joy is ...
Let's just pretend for a moment that there is an "Other Side."
And that before I came here, I was There. And I had all of the information when I was on the Other Side.
I knew the children in that farmhouse were in harm's way, right in their own home.
And I said, "That family! I want to be the ninth kid in that family!"
If that's the case, what was I thinking?
Maybe I thought that this would be just one aspect of my vast store of human experiences. That it was one dimension, but not the defining experience.
Maybe I thought that like my sister, I would say, "No" when approached by my dad, and the abuse would have been a passing thought.
Man, did I miss that memo!
Even so, I don't know how I would have dodged the long fingers of my grandfather. Maybe I knew that on the Other Side too?
Maybe I thought this adverse human experience would help me learn something I yearned to learn as a human being—that it would enrich my understanding of me and the condition of humanity.
That choosing to be female was a particular path in this family of choice.
That my mother would see me as too plain looking, too loud and just way too much. And that my dad would objectify and me and make my body property.
Did I say, "Bring it on?!"
Did I know my Self, the Who-I-Am part of me could, would persevere and even eventually thrive?
Maybe I wanted to experience the plea of that twelve year old, sitting on the toilet, asking God, "Why? Why is this happening to me?"
And God not answering.
Did I know that the abuse would estrange me from others, my God and myself? Did I want to experience that? Was I curious about the despair of separateness?
Maybe it was all of those reasons. Maybe more!
Maybe, when I was on the Other Side, I had the confidence, the assurance of knowing, that the very essence of Who-I-Am would remember that I am forever infused with unmitigated Joy.
No matter what.
And I would remember that Joy is the golden thread of connection to Source.
To be sure, I will have questions for myself when I return to the Other Side.
But for now?
Right now, I'm going to go with that idea, the Untouchable Joy!
Lorna Larson is retired from a career in social work. She is now dabbling in her other interests which include: reading, writing, baking, taking walks with her partner, and hanging out with family and friends who feed her soul. Lorna writes from Lawrence, KS, which is in the Midwest of the United States.
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