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Seeing Sylvia At The Nursing Home

By John Kaniecki

PROMPT—I am grateful for ...

The perpetually empty soap dispenser

Stands like a solitary somber sentinel

Seeking with what it cannot provide

I wave my hand to receive a fruitless grunting groan

The well is void of water yet again

I press the button to unlock the door

Slipping inside I wave to Eli and Erika

On the wall I enter the simplistic code *119

Up on the elevator to the second floor

An ombudsman poster and monthly schedule on the wall

Representing the worst and best of this world

I pass empty, hollow, sterile faces

Sometimes the seniors seems as babes, but not now

Sylvia is sitting in her wheel chair silent

As an ancient fine figurine on display in a museum

Her dementia an impenetrable castle wall

I unlock the wheels and roll her to the TV room

I hold her hand and look for a hint of recognition

Scanning heaven for light on a cloudy night

If she is aware, I regret the necessity of

Having to place her in a nursing home

If she is lost in some ambiguous oblivion

I am vexed by the vast emptiness

Either way I slowly weep tears of sorrow

Sad for what is gone tormented by what could have been


I put in my thirty minutes a day

I do more than relieve my guilty conscious

The staff is acutely aware someone is watching

Tonight as I leave I say “I love you” and kiss her brow

From the infinite darkness a flickering of light

“I love you” says my wife of chiseled stone

I could move heaven and Earth but to what worth?


So with these events searing inside my brain

I write these clumsy words to alleviate the pain


If you walk the same crooked path full of thorns

Carrying the searing hot iron cross

I feel your pain, I feel your pain


 

John Kaniecki is a poet, writer from Montclair, New Jersey. He works part-time as a math tutor and visits his wife Sylvia who resides in a nearby nursing home suffering from dementia.

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